Ma ei mõista,ma ei usu,ma ei tunne,ma ei tea
Ma olen ,ma olin,ma tahan,ma tahtsin,
kuid mitte miskit ei ole enam siin ega seal
kui vaid teaks,suudaks näha,mõelda,vast siis teaksin,usuksin,
aga ei...kõik mis tulnud,ka läinud sama kiirelt...küll alles mu peas,
kuid kadunud realsusesse.Ei suuda olla,ei istuda ega seista...kõik nii,ebaselge.
Tahaks Teda,enda kõrvale,ei taha...
Veider,kas pole?
On,minu jaoks vähemalt.
.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Igatsus
Ta on kusagil seal...ei siin ega seal..
Teda näem ja ei näe...
Mäletame ja unustame...
Armastame ja vihkame...
Pidevalt mõeldes ja meenutades Sind veel enda kõrval seismas näen...Vahel ka tunnen,kuid ei näe ja käega pai teha ei saa...Oled juba kaks aastat siit kadunud,aihtunud.kuid mind oled jäänud ja jääd veel kummitama...Kui sa vaid teaksid kuis igatsen Sind ja veel kuida ei suuda Sind oma südamest välja visata...See nii valus vahel,samas nii rõõmus,et südame lihtsalt puruks kisub...Tean juba,et tegelikult oli üks Neiu minusse armunud,aga mina Sinusse...See oli nii hea tunne,kui sain juba lihtsalt sinuga koos olla ja rääkida...mul ei olnud kunagi midagi enamat vaja,kui ainult sinu lähedust,et olla rõõmus ja õnnelik,kuid nüüd vaid mälestused meist kõigist mul peas...mida on küll rõõm meenutada,aga valus tunda.sest nii väga tahaks Sulle pai ja kalli teha ja öelda,et oled ikka veel minu südame Printsess[:Ole rõõmus ja õnnelik seal kaugel[:Sinu igavene sõber Martin.
Teda näem ja ei näe...
Mäletame ja unustame...
Armastame ja vihkame...
Pidevalt mõeldes ja meenutades Sind veel enda kõrval seismas näen...Vahel ka tunnen,kuid ei näe ja käega pai teha ei saa...Oled juba kaks aastat siit kadunud,aihtunud.kuid mind oled jäänud ja jääd veel kummitama...Kui sa vaid teaksid kuis igatsen Sind ja veel kuida ei suuda Sind oma südamest välja visata...See nii valus vahel,samas nii rõõmus,et südame lihtsalt puruks kisub...Tean juba,et tegelikult oli üks Neiu minusse armunud,aga mina Sinusse...See oli nii hea tunne,kui sain juba lihtsalt sinuga koos olla ja rääkida...mul ei olnud kunagi midagi enamat vaja,kui ainult sinu lähedust,et olla rõõmus ja õnnelik,kuid nüüd vaid mälestused meist kõigist mul peas...mida on küll rõõm meenutada,aga valus tunda.sest nii väga tahaks Sulle pai ja kalli teha ja öelda,et oled ikka veel minu südame Printsess[:Ole rõõmus ja õnnelik seal kaugel[:Sinu igavene sõber Martin.
Monday, August 13, 2007
A World So Cold
When passion's lost
And all the trust is gone
For way too far
For way too long
Children crying
Cast out and neglected
Only in a world so cold
Only in a world this cold
Hold the hand
Of your best friend
Look into their eyes
Then watch them drift away
Some might say
We've done the wrong things
For way too long
For way too long
Fever inside the storm
So we're turning away
Away from the game
Away from the storm
It's like through mending the worlds of us
Keep your thorn
Cuz I'm running away
Away from the game
Away from the space
The circumstances of a world so cold
Burning whispers
Remind me of the days
I was left alone
In a world this cold
Guilty of the same things
Reveled by the cause
I've left alone
In a world so cold
Fever inside the storm
So we're turning away
Away from the game
Away from the storm
It's like through mending the worlds of us
Keep your thorns
Cuz I'm running away
Away from the game
Away from space
The circumstances of a world so cold
I'm flying
I'm flying away
Away from the games
Away from the flames
The circumstances of a world so COLD
Why does everyone feel like my enemy
Don't want any part of depressional darkness
I've had enough, sick and tired,
Bring the sun or I'm gone or
I'm gone, I'm packing out, I'm no more no motherfuckin' shit
Never lied, never loved, never lived, never lost, never hurt never
worried about being afraid
Of anyone else, not a care, no concern
Don't give a shit about anything
Packing out, giving up, no motherfuckin' shit
Never lived, never lied, never lived, neverlived, never loved, never loved,
never hate, never worried about being afraid
Of anyone else, not a care, no concern
Don't give a shit about anything
I need to find a darkened corner
A darkened corner
A blackless corner
Where its safer and calmer
I'm drowning away
Away from the game
Away from flame
Cause I feel mending the worlds of us
I'm running away
Away from the game
Away from this space
Of circumstances of a world so cold
I'm flying
I'm flying away
Away from the game
Away from the game
Of circumstances of a world so cold.
And all the trust is gone
For way too far
For way too long
Children crying
Cast out and neglected
Only in a world so cold
Only in a world this cold
Hold the hand
Of your best friend
Look into their eyes
Then watch them drift away
Some might say
We've done the wrong things
For way too long
For way too long
Fever inside the storm
So we're turning away
Away from the game
Away from the storm
It's like through mending the worlds of us
Keep your thorn
Cuz I'm running away
Away from the game
Away from the space
The circumstances of a world so cold
Burning whispers
Remind me of the days
I was left alone
In a world this cold
Guilty of the same things
Reveled by the cause
I've left alone
In a world so cold
Fever inside the storm
So we're turning away
Away from the game
Away from the storm
It's like through mending the worlds of us
Keep your thorns
Cuz I'm running away
Away from the game
Away from space
The circumstances of a world so cold
I'm flying
I'm flying away
Away from the games
Away from the flames
The circumstances of a world so COLD
Why does everyone feel like my enemy
Don't want any part of depressional darkness
I've had enough, sick and tired,
Bring the sun or I'm gone or
I'm gone, I'm packing out, I'm no more no motherfuckin' shit
Never lied, never loved, never lived, never lost, never hurt never
worried about being afraid
Of anyone else, not a care, no concern
Don't give a shit about anything
Packing out, giving up, no motherfuckin' shit
Never lived, never lied, never lived, neverlived, never loved, never loved,
never hate, never worried about being afraid
Of anyone else, not a care, no concern
Don't give a shit about anything
I need to find a darkened corner
A darkened corner
A blackless corner
Where its safer and calmer
I'm drowning away
Away from the game
Away from flame
Cause I feel mending the worlds of us
I'm running away
Away from the game
Away from this space
Of circumstances of a world so cold
I'm flying
I'm flying away
Away from the game
Away from the game
Of circumstances of a world so cold.
Freak On A Leash
Something takes a part of me.
Something lost and never seen.
Everytime I start to believe,
Something's raped and taken from me... from me.
Life's got to always be messing with me. (You wanna see the light)
Can't they chill and let me be free? (So do I)
Can't I take away all this pain. (You wanna see the light)
I try to every night, all in vain... in vain.
Sometimes I cannot take this place.
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste.
Sometimes I cannot feel my face.
You'll never see me fall from grace
Something takes a part of me.
You and I were meant to be.
A cheap fuck for me to lay
Something takes a part of me.
Feeling like a freak on a leash. (You wanna see the light)
Feeling like I have no release. (So do I)
How many times have I felt diseased? (You wanna see the light)
Nothing in my life is free... is free
Sometimes I cannot take this place.
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste.
Sometimes I cannot feel my face.
You'll never see me fall from grace
Something takes a part of me.
You and I were meant to be.
A cheap fuck for me to lay
Something takes a part of me.
Something on the
So...fight! something on the...
Fight...some things they fight
So...something on the...
Fight...some things they fight
Fight...something of the...
No...some things they fight
Fight...something of the...
Fight...some things they fight
Part of me...
Oh...
Something lost and never seen.
Everytime I start to believe,
Something's raped and taken from me... from me.
Life's got to always be messing with me. (You wanna see the light)
Can't they chill and let me be free? (So do I)
Can't I take away all this pain. (You wanna see the light)
I try to every night, all in vain... in vain.
Sometimes I cannot take this place.
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste.
Sometimes I cannot feel my face.
You'll never see me fall from grace
Something takes a part of me.
You and I were meant to be.
A cheap fuck for me to lay
Something takes a part of me.
Feeling like a freak on a leash. (You wanna see the light)
Feeling like I have no release. (So do I)
How many times have I felt diseased? (You wanna see the light)
Nothing in my life is free... is free
Sometimes I cannot take this place.
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste.
Sometimes I cannot feel my face.
You'll never see me fall from grace
Something takes a part of me.
You and I were meant to be.
A cheap fuck for me to lay
Something takes a part of me.
Something on the
So...fight! something on the...
Fight...some things they fight
So...something on the...
Fight...some things they fight
Fight...something of the...
No...some things they fight
Fight...something of the...
Fight...some things they fight
Part of me...
Oh...
Monday, April 16, 2007
You'll find it hiding in shadows
You'll find it hiding in cupboards
It will walk you home safe every night
It will help you remember
If that's way it is
Then that's the way it is
I still feel you and the taste of cigarettes
What could I ever run to
Just tell me it's tearing you apart
Just tell me you cannot sleep
And you didn't even notice
When the sky turned blue
And you couldn't tell the difference
Between me and you
And I nearly didn't notice
The gentlest feeling
You are the bluest light
You'll find it hiding in cupboards
It will walk you home safe every night
It will help you remember
If that's way it is
Then that's the way it is
I still feel you and the taste of cigarettes
What could I ever run to
Just tell me it's tearing you apart
Just tell me you cannot sleep
And you didn't even notice
When the sky turned blue
And you couldn't tell the difference
Between me and you
And I nearly didn't notice
The gentlest feeling
You are the bluest light
These are the secrets you will share
These are the words you cannot bare
This is the sight you’ll never see
And that you have forgotten me
The voice that tempted you away
The deepest hole in which I stay
I miss you most my darkest hour
I’m wondering where the hell you are
Too late to tell you you were wrong
Another word to dwell upon
You could have waited for me
Like I was waiting just for you
The fuse is flicker in his eye
Her touch to blow me open wide
I could have run a million times
But I was waiting for you
And did you ever stop to think
About how low that you could sink
And down the low, our deepest sigh
Within yourself you cannot hide
Do photographs and faces lie?
Why did I never wonder why?
Why I was waiting for you
These are the words you cannot bare
This is the sight you’ll never see
And that you have forgotten me
The voice that tempted you away
The deepest hole in which I stay
I miss you most my darkest hour
I’m wondering where the hell you are
Too late to tell you you were wrong
Another word to dwell upon
You could have waited for me
Like I was waiting just for you
The fuse is flicker in his eye
Her touch to blow me open wide
I could have run a million times
But I was waiting for you
And did you ever stop to think
About how low that you could sink
And down the low, our deepest sigh
Within yourself you cannot hide
Do photographs and faces lie?
Why did I never wonder why?
Why I was waiting for you
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Minevikus - Tulevikus
Ohh neid aegu ammuseid ja toredaid,kuidki ei ole nii vana,et võiksin öelda päris nii,
siiski need hetked olid aastaid tagasi. Praegu siin neist kirjutades võib mõnele jääda mulje minust kui depressiivsest noorest,kelle arvates maailm on liiga ebaõiglane.Eks ta ole ja ei ole.
Muidugi ma ei ole depressiivne,pigem igatseja.Kes nii väga tahaks aega tagasi keerata ja siis see seisma jätta,et saaks vaid nendes möödunud hetkedes elada.Kas see oleks hea? Kas lasta neil hetkedel minna ja elada edasi,unustades kõik need või jätta meelde,kui heade noorus hetkedena?
Viimane oleks see kõikse õigem valik.Parem meenutada neid heade noorus hetkedena,kui jääda neid nukralt meenutama ja taga nutma. Minna eluga edasi,kust pooleli jäi ja alati vastata küsijatele,et see oli minu parim noorus.Kus oli nii rõõmsaid ja kurbi hetki. Mis ühendab ja eraldab paljusid meist.
Alati olid võimalused olemas arenemiseks ja suhtlemiseks inimestega,teada saada mida keegi mõtleb või tunneb,mis nii keerulisena näis sai lahenduse jne.
Eks muidugi saavad praeguki keerulised asjad omad lahendused ja kõik muugi,aga ei ole enam neid inimesi läheduses,kellest nii suurt puudust tunnen igapäeva suhtlemises - olemises.
Mis teeb meele vägagi kurvaks,sest sõbrad on kõikse tähtsamad.Muidugi ka armastus,aga see on teine teema,kuna praegu olen ma kõikse õnnelikum,seda tänu Temale:)
Ühesõnaga tahan seda öelda,et : Sõbrad igatsen teid kõiki,tohutult!!!
siiski need hetked olid aastaid tagasi. Praegu siin neist kirjutades võib mõnele jääda mulje minust kui depressiivsest noorest,kelle arvates maailm on liiga ebaõiglane.Eks ta ole ja ei ole.
Muidugi ma ei ole depressiivne,pigem igatseja.Kes nii väga tahaks aega tagasi keerata ja siis see seisma jätta,et saaks vaid nendes möödunud hetkedes elada.Kas see oleks hea? Kas lasta neil hetkedel minna ja elada edasi,unustades kõik need või jätta meelde,kui heade noorus hetkedena?
Viimane oleks see kõikse õigem valik.Parem meenutada neid heade noorus hetkedena,kui jääda neid nukralt meenutama ja taga nutma. Minna eluga edasi,kust pooleli jäi ja alati vastata küsijatele,et see oli minu parim noorus.Kus oli nii rõõmsaid ja kurbi hetki. Mis ühendab ja eraldab paljusid meist.
Alati olid võimalused olemas arenemiseks ja suhtlemiseks inimestega,teada saada mida keegi mõtleb või tunneb,mis nii keerulisena näis sai lahenduse jne.
Eks muidugi saavad praeguki keerulised asjad omad lahendused ja kõik muugi,aga ei ole enam neid inimesi läheduses,kellest nii suurt puudust tunnen igapäeva suhtlemises - olemises.
Mis teeb meele vägagi kurvaks,sest sõbrad on kõikse tähtsamad.Muidugi ka armastus,aga see on teine teema,kuna praegu olen ma kõikse õnnelikum,seda tänu Temale:)
Ühesõnaga tahan seda öelda,et : Sõbrad igatsen teid kõiki,tohutult!!!
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